FST: Supernatural: I Shall Not Live In Vain

[minviendha]

Fandom: Supernatural
Medium: TV Show
Subject: Sam Winchester
Title: I Shall Not Live In Vain
Notes: I was halfway through making this when Livejournal spazzed and DELETED THE WHOLE THING. Pissed. It took me long enough to format this. Sometimes/often I don't get me. Starts with an intro and ends with an outro, with chronological order in between. A bit of Patrick Wolf (more of him than any other single artist, I think) and 34 songs total. Comment if you like/are taking, etc...hope you enjoy it. Next fanmix, by the way, is going to be the compilation of Silm fanmix best ofs, hopefully within the week.


.ZIP PART ONE HERE | .ZIP PART TWO HERE


THE GOOD OLD DAYS – THE LIBERTINES
If you've lost your faith in love and music/Oh the end won't be long
Because if it's gone for you then I too may lose it/And that would be wrong

THIS IS YOUR LIFE - SWITCHFOOT
This is your life and today is all you've got now/Yeah, and today is all you'll ever have
Don't close your eyes/Don't close your eyes

This is your life, are you who you want to be?
This is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be?
When the world was younger and you had everything to lose

KINGDOM OF RUST – DOVES
I long to feel/Some beauty in my heart/As I go searching/Right to the start

MAKE A MOVE – LOST PROPHETS
So are we lost or do we know/Which direction we should go
Sit around and wait for someone to take our hands and lead the way

Cause every day we're getting older/And every day we all get colder
We're sick of waiting for our answers

BOY DECIDE – MURDER BY DEATH
There is a son, he is born/with a silver spoon in his mouth
Go on, boy, admit/there's got to be something you love
Enough to protect/you tire of things, I know,/but you have to push on

NO SOUND BUT THE WIND – EDITORS
We can never go home/We no longer have one/I'll help you carry the load
I'll carry you in my arms/The kiss of the snow/The crescent moon above us
Our blood is cold/And we're alone/But I'm alone with you

HOUSES – GREAT NORTHERN
The end begins just as it starts/And leaves me wondering what we left behind
Told me not to talk but please explain/My thoughts that float around my mind

SOMEBODY HELP ME – FULL BLOWN ROSE
Now, I'm not a hero... no/but the weight of the world's is on my soul
these imagines burn my eyes/they're burning me up inside

THE WORLD IS DARKER – NEVERENDING WHITE LIGHTS
Well, its only lonely soul I'm after/The heart is dark but the world is darker
Lonely souls in the sweet hereafter/The heart is dark but the world s darker

BEAUTIFUL ENEMY - DAR WILLIAMS
Oh my enemy, beautiful enemy,/Hail to your vast hegemony,
You're not innocent, I'm not innocent,/No one's innocent.

OBLIVION – PATRICK WOLF
Father, where’s my gun/Now that the war has begun/Let me go it alone
I need no one/I said I need no one

DOWN GOES ANOTHER ONE - MCFLY
Did the best that I could/Said I'd die for you and I would
But I drowned all those feelings in the flood

PLANET HELL – NIGHTWISH
A dead world/A dark path/Not even crossroads to choose from
All the blood red carpets before me/Behold this fair creation of God

KILLER – THE HOOSIERS
I hate my work, but I'm in control/I'm fearless now, but it cost my soul
Save yourselves, the moon is full/Under its power, gravitational pull

Blood red lips, they shake like leaves/You're flesh and blood, but what's underneath?

BLOODBEAT – PATRICK WOLF
No need for comfort/No need for light/I am hunting down demons tonight
Eat the terror lick the spark/uh oh my blood beats dark.

DUST BOWL DANCE – MUMFORD & SONS
Seal my heart and break my pride,/I've nowhere to stand and now nowhere to hide,
Align my heart, my body, my mind,/To face what I've done and do my time.

LITTLE HOUSE – THE FRAY
Something is scratching/Its way out/Something you want/To forget about

A part of you that'll never show/You're the only one that'll ever know
Take it back when it all began/Take your time, would you understand/What it's all about?

GOLDEN AND GREEN - BUILDERS AND THE BUTCHERS
Close your eyes and you draw one more day to a close/You choose to be alone
You float through your life as a ghost/And everything heals given time
And everything dies given time/And the scars run together, mixing the nerves with the blood

GUILTY – MARINA & THE DIAMONDS
Oh I'm a guilty one,/and I know what I have done/Yeah I'm a troubled one
And I won’t be forgiven

THIS WEATHER – PATRICK WOLF
I am not going to set myself free here/I am following some dark fortune/Some circle in me

Hold back the wind/Hold back the rain/I want to live/To see good weather

BLACK RIVER KILLER – BLITZEN TRAPPER
So you make no mistake/I know just what it takes/To pull a man's soul back from heaven's gates
I've been wandering in the dark about as long as sin/But they say it's never too late to start again

Oh when, oh when/Will the spirit come a calling for my soul's sin
Oh when, oh when/Will the keys to the kingdom be mine again?

COLLAPSE THE LIGHT INTO EARTH – PORCUPINE TREE
I won't heal given time/I won't try to change your mind
I won't feel better in the cold light of day/But I wouldn't stop you if you wanted to stay

GRAPEVINE FIRES – DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE
The wake-up call to a rented room/Sounded like an alarm of impending doom
To warn us it's only a matter of time/Before we all burn

SLEEPING SICKNESS – CITY AND COLOUR
Someone come and, someone come and save my life/Maybe I'll sleep when I am dead,
But now it's like the night is taking up sides
With all the worries that occupy the back of my mind/Could it be this misery will suffice

BLACKDOWN – PATRICK WOLF
Desire, desire, deep down inside of me/You are not the maker nor the master of me
Help me to better support my family/And better, better of a brother be

STAND MY GROUND – WITHIN TEMPTATION
Stand my ground, I won't give in/No more denying, I gotta face it
Won't close my eyes and hide the truth inside/If I don't make it, someone else will
Stand my ground.

IF THE WORLD ENDS – THE GUILLEMOTS
If the world ends/I hope you're here with me/I think we could laugh just enough
to not die in pain/If the world ends

THE WORLDS FORGOTTEN, THE WORDS FORBIDDEN – SONATA ARCTICA
No light/Only suffocating dark/Deep, burning pain/I'm losing everything I am
Remember nothing of my past/Now it's all gone/And I fear the game is over)

THROUGH GLASS – STONE SOUR
I'm looking at you through the glass/Don't know how much time has passed
Oh, god it feels like forever/But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head

AFTER ALL – DAR WILLIAMS
Go ahead, push your luck/Find out how much love the world can hold
Once upon a time I had control/And reined my soul in tight/Well the whole truth
It's like the story of a wave unfurled/But I held the evil of the world
So I stopped the tide/Froze it up from inside/And it felt like a winter machine
That you go through and then/You catch your breath and winter starts again
And everyone else is spring bound

IN BRIGHT FIRE – THE STARS OF TRACK AND FIELD
They’ll never let you go/With bright lights they’ll track you down
They’ll never let you set, set, set your fire

You’re running in circles to save someone’s life/And your life too

DISAPPOINT – ASSEMBLAGE 23
Did I disappoint you?/Did I let you down?/Did I stand on the shore
And watch you as you drowned?/Can you forgive me?/I never knew
The pain you carried/Deep inside of you.

MAD WORLD – MICHAEL ANDREWS & GARY JULES
And I find it kind of funny/I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying/Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you/I find it hard to take
When people run in circles/It's a very very, mad world

THISTLES & WEEDS – MUMFORD & SONS
Spare me your judgments and spare me your dreams/Cause recently mine have been tearing my seams
I sit alone in this winter clarity which clouds my mind/Alone in the wind and the rain you left me
It's getting dark darling, too dark to see
And I'm on my knees, and your faith in shreds, it seems

Comments

[sargent-snarky.livejournal.com]

Taking! ... you probably will not get a super long ramble about this one (consider how long it took me to review the story you wrote me :( ), though you will get some rambling at some point when I have time and have listened all the way through.


I still love your layouts and pairing of pictures with songs.

But but but -- what is the font you use for the lyrics on the individual photographs?

[minviendha.livejournal.com]

Heh, I do not expect super long rambles! But I do love little rambles? Any thoughts are always lovely. I hope you enjoy this one, it was fun to make. (Took forever though.)

Thank you! I love laying things out, as said before, and now that I've started I just can't stop.

...oooh. I had to go look it up, but I believe it's Sabrina. (http://www.dafont.com/sabrina-at.font)

[sargent-snarky.livejournal.com]

No rambles yet, but but but -- have I mentioned that I love your taste in music?

Also dafont is an amazing place. :o Thank you! :) *has downloaded the font to use on things* >D

[vail-kagami.livejournal.com]

I'm taking this. Don't know most of the songs, but the chosen lyrics sound very fitting. Also, let my just say I love the artwork for this. It's obvious that a lot of work went into this one!

[minviendha.livejournal.com]

Oh hello!

Thank you! *blushes* I enjoyed making this, and I'm a little obsessive about layout making. I like things to look nice. I hope you enjoy the music! (And hey, if I can introduce someone to some good songs...so much the better.)

[vail-kagami.livejournal.com]

I listened to the songs by now and I loved almost all of them, which is rather rare in fanmixes. Thanks for sharing! This'll go on my big-bang writing playlist!

By the way, do you mind if I friend you?

[minviendha.livejournal.com]

...I'm assuming here you have no idea how long I've been trying to get up the courage to friend you. XD

Yes, of course! I'd be delighted. And heheheheh, big bang...I should get going on that.

[vail-kagami.livejournal.com]

So you're doing it too, huh? I'm glad - that's a story I'll probably enjoy reading!

I needed to start early, because I'll probably need much more than the required 20,000 words. Five thousand words in, I still haven't really gotten over the opening. I fail.

[minviendha.livejournal.com]

WELL you have officially made me very excited for your story. LONG IS GOOD. I COULD DO WITH LONG THINGS THAT I ENJOY READING. And I have...invariably enjoyed everything you've written, so.

And at least I'll attempt it! I do not...write long fic as a matter of course, but I have a sort of idea? And if I get it straightened out then maybe it will work out. I am clearly an optimist.

.../does a little 'add friend' dance wooo~

[vail-kagami.livejournal.com]

You might not like my big bang fic, though, because it'll contain wincest.
(There's also a generous helping of hurt and slightly insane Sam, though.(
The one I'll write for the gen big bang might be more of your liking. It's gen, obviously, though there might be some Sam/Cas overtones. (Sam wumpage is a given. I'm not a good person.)

I'm looking foreward to whatever you come up with. And 20,000 word is not so much after all. My NaNo story this year (a SPN fanfic) is already at 55,000 words and not half done. (The story makes me sad because I kind of consider it my masterpiece so far and no one will ever read it because I wouldn't be able to sell the idea. Depressing. I still want to finish it when I find the time.)

Yeah, I kind of have a problem staying within a word limit.

Can I ask what your idea for the big bang is?

[minviendha.livejournal.com]

I am sometimes willing to read wincest for the sake of hurt and slightly insane Sam. So you know. >> And yeah, the gen big bang is the one I'm writing for and saw you signed up for, stalker and Sam/Cas is...pretty much always okay with me. For some reason I can't explain. Only pairing I've read really intentionally.

...holy crap. 55,000? ...what's the idea? I'd be interested? Because honestly, if you wrote it I'd probably at least be willing to check it out. But I know what you mean about having an idea that just seems unsellable.

Staying within a word limit is for people like me who have to strive for that word limit, as far as I'm concerned. >> I think exceeding it is awesome. Personally.

I'm thinking, at the moment, of doing something along the lines of this prompt? (http://community.livejournal.com/ohsam/132600.html) But I'm still poking at my head.

[vail-kagami.livejournal.com]

Ooh, I like that prompt! In the hands of a talented author, it could be awesome. Now, if only a talented author would write it... :P

Seriously, I'l looking foreward to whatever you come up with.

The basic idea of the unsellable story I'm working on is simple enough: It goeas AU during episode 5.18, when Dean says Yes to Michael after all. The angels led by Michael and the demons led by Lucifer start their war in earnest, pretty much leveling Earth in the process, but they never have a final battle because Michael wants to do this the right way, with Lucifer in the right vessel, and Sam never says yes. Instead, he fights along with Castiel to protect the remains of humanity and find a way to get Dean back. (Also, he's feeling awfully guilty because he was so convinced Dean wouldn't say yes that he let him out of the panic room.) For that sake, he starts with the demon blood again because he needs his demon-killing powers. All the time, both sides try to convince Sam of saying yes and neither side is particualrly nice about it. He also dies a lot, and eventually, the angels stop letting him into heaven so his soul ends up in hell until he's brought back to life.
Between all that and the regular demon-blood detox, Sam's slowly losing his mind. Cas tries to protect him, but he's mostly human now and there's not much he can do. Eventually, he finds a way, though: He kills Sam using a certain ritual, and steals his soul, hiding it somewhere so he can't come back to life. (I got the idea before we found out that a human doesn't necessarily need a soul to run around, so my fic ignores that particular bit on canon.)
After that, Cas becomes the most wanted bastard on Earth, but he manages to keep the hiding place of Sam's soul secret for about 200 years. Finally, Michael's patience runs out and he lets go of Dean (he gets into a resurrected Adam instead), hoping his brother's return will draw Sam out. Dean doesn't remember anything, not even his own name, not Cas, not Sam, and everyone tries to manipulate him in some way to get him on their side.
So far it doesn't sound so unsellable, I guess. The problem is that the story starts when Dean comes back to life and is told from his perspective. So he's the main character, but not in a way Dean-fans would appreciate too much, I imagine. He's together with Cas all the time, but not in a way Dean/Cas shippers would like. (Cas still resents Dean for giving up and what it did to the world (and Sam), and Dean doesn't trust Cas as far as he can throw him.) And while there is enough Sam whumpage to make any hurt!Sam fan very happy, Sam doesn't even appear for the first 30,000 words. So at first sight the story doesn't really hit anyone's taste.

... wow, that was long.

[minviendha.livejournal.com]

Heeegh, I shall do my best with it. >> It definitely caught my eye and made me prick up my ears, which is...usually a good sign? So we'll see. But thank you.

...I don't know what part of this is unsellable. >> Seriously, the whole thing sounds like epic awesome, and I would just - seriously go for this story from what you're saying here. Especially given the author, I could totally go for this plot.

Even if Sam doesn't appear for the first 30,000 words. I have a feeling it wouldn't even matter. >> So you know, if you feel so inclined? I'd love to see it someday.

Hey, rambling about writing is easy to do.

[vail-kagami.livejournal.com]

I don't know, there's just so much... well, so much in that story, and it developes slowly, and I don't know anyone would have the patience for it. Especially since Dean meets someone who seems to be a female OC before he even learns his own name, and female OCs are instant back button friggers for many. (Even though this one is, in fact, neither female nor an OC.)
The main problem is finding a beta, though. It needs to be betaed, but I can't dump this monster on my usual beta, beause she's busy, and more of a Dean fan herself. She wouldn't really like this.

Yeah, more fic rambling. It's dangerous if you allow me to get started. Heh.

Anyway, if you're interested, I could send you what I have of the fic so far. With the two big bangs coming up, it'll be a while before I get to continue it, and I'll probably only post it when it's finished.

Did you start your fic yet? Damn, I'm already exited about it, and it's still so long until posting date. Damn you, talented-writer-who-shares-many-of-my-tastes!

[minviendha.livejournal.com]

Heyyy, I never have a problem with getting people started on fic rambling. I do enough of it myself that I figure the least I can do is encourage others. Also I am just kind of an enabler in general when it comes to fic.

I would love that! If you didn't mind. >> And I could potentially offer to beta too, if you like? Although I haven't done terribly much of it, I have to fess up.

I have a little bit written, potentially, so - I guess? But ee, glad to know someone's excited. It should be fun, and I'm really curious to see what other people (and you!) come up with for it.

*salutes* Same here, man. Same here. XD

[vail-kagami.livejournal.com]

That's fantastic! I could really use a second opinion there.
And if you could point out my spelling/grammar errors or general issues with the writing/characterizatio/plot, that would be even better!

Where do I send this? Can you PM me your eMail adress?

[minviendha.livejournal.com]

PM'd, and I'd be happy to!