Oh my god.

Oh my god oh my god oh my god.

This doesn't happen. This just doesn't happen.

My brother was just in a bike accident. He's at the hospital. They think he's going to be okay, but...

OH MY GOD.

This is so scary. Since forever I've had this terrible fear that I'm going to get hit by a car or get in a car accident, but it's never happened to anyone I know. And my brother. At 11:00 at night, my brother is in the hospital. Mom went to Seattle.

I'm probably freaking out over nothing, but I'm scared and worried out of my mind. My stomach hurts and I'm rocking back and forth in my chair and I'm afraid I'm going to cry. I need a hug. Or something.

I need a nervous breakdown. Crying isn't helping. I just feel so tense and scared and stressed and I'm going crazy and now this happens.

Life has a strange sense of humor.

I'm just sitting here, half numb, half terrified. I should be asleep. I should have been asleep two hours ago. My god, I'm scared. What if he dies? How would I handle the death of someone close to me? I practically break down just thinking about my dog dying, for god's sake. I'd never survive someone really close to me actually dying. I'm just not strong enough.

Just a minute ago, I was thinking about spring break and what book I was going to read. And now...

Now I don't know what to think.

I don't think I'll get much sleep tonight. Things will probably look better in the morning, but still...

Right now it's hard to look that far ahead.

*whew*

First of all, a huge and multi-armed hug to shorelle, zorpisuttle, ersatz_iolo, [Bad username or unknown identity: redsilkscarf, ], and sizzlinfoo for all their love and support. The brother seems to be okay, other than very sore, and I am very tired and consuquently somewhat loopy.

I love you all so much. Many hugs and love, and I take Zorpy's icon to heart.

Don't Panic!