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Also two bonus songs: Team America World Police's America, Fuck Yeah and Ray Lynch New Age techno awesome Celestial Soda Pop.
And the first of two FSTs I've been meaning to post for a while. Because I need to feel productive. At least a little.
Medium: Book
Fandom: Doctrine of Labyrinths
Subject: Felix Harrowgate
Title: Don't Hurt Me/Touch Me/Trust Me
Notes: So...this is the third of Felix fanmixes I have made. I'm sorry.
DOWNLOAD .ZIP HERE
Eight Easy Steps - Alanis Morrisette
How to stay paralyzed by fear of abandonment
How to defer to men in solve-able predicaments
How to control someone to be a carbon copy of you
How to have that not work and have them run away from you
How to keep people at arm's length and never get too close
How to mistrust the ones you supposedly love the most
How to pretend you're fine and don't need help from anyone
Felix, in summation.
The Kid - David Wilcox
Late at night in the empty big top
I'm all alone on the high wire
Ladies and gentlemen, there is no net this time
He's a real death defier
Roughly in chronological order, so this is a younger Felix, the one we never really get to see.
Good Enough - Evanescence
Under your spell again.
I can't say no to you.
Crave my heart and it's bleeding in your hand.
I can't say no to you.
Shouldn't let you torture me so sweetly.
Now I can't let go of this dream.
I can't breathe but I feel...
My list of Felix/Malkar songs is waaaay too long. But this is another one. Definitely another one. It encompasses a lot of their relationship, and the reasons I think Felix is so drawn to him.
Out of Reach - Voltaire
You're the devil's own
You'll cheat and lie
and you won't stop until
you've stole the glimmer from my eye
but not tonight
Cause I won't let you
I know you want to
but not with me
It's all so clear to see
you can try to destroy me but not tonight
'cause I won't let you through
you can fight if you like some other time
you'll find I'm out of reach
Breaking free of Malkar. Sort of. At least trying.
Blood On My Hands - The Used
It's the me that I let you know,
Cause' I'll never show,
I have my reasons.
I hate to say that I told you so,
But I told you so.
There's blood on my hands like the blood in you.
Some things can't be treated so,
Don't make me,
Don't make me be myself around you.
Felix in all his relationships, with everyone, but most especially with Mildmay. Though in my head this one is really directed at Gideon.
Naked - Assemblage 23
Awake aware alone
Lost and far from home
I walk without these walls
So there is less to fall
I am naked
I have nothing left
My bones are picked clean
And riddled with regrets
Nothing can touch me
I've nothing left to take
For I am naked
But I can never break
Felix when he's mad as a hatter. Or any time, really, but especially insane, or in a depressed mood.
Every You Every Me - Placebo
Carve your name into my arm.
Instead of stressed, I lie here charmed.
Cuz there's nothing else to do,
Every me and every you.
This one![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
shorelle suggested and I can't find just why it fits, but it does. So here it is.
Who Will? - Patrick Wolf
Who will lay me down in green pastures
Or lead me from the burning sand
Who will be the one to lay their cards down
And always hold the winning hand
In one of his more wistful I-just-wanna-be-loved moods. Wanting someone to reach out. Kind of goes with "Who Will Love Me Now" that I used earlier for him.
Emptiness - Unto Ashes
(no lyrics here)
Ghosts - Assemblage 23
Inside a culture of spiritual violence
Demons singing like creatures of light
Smiling faces awash in hypocrisy
Vending salvation that no one invites
More mad Felix, though this one is leaning more toward the Mirador end of things, where the feeling of being trapped and alone makes him lash out. At Mildmay, usually.
Vulture - Patrick Wolf
Down in Santa Monica
suicide motel
One date with the devil
Seven days in hell
Mother don't worry,
I see the boy is doing fine
Home in a hurry
And be seen with good time
Edgy-tetchy-snarky-nasty Felix. In all his glory. The one you wish you'd never meet. Or else want to smack around. But he's there nonetheless, and hard to avoid all the time.
Awake - Assemblage 23
Every time I close my eyes
The noise inside me amplifies
I can't escape
I relive every moment of the day
Every misstep I have made
Finds a way it can invade
My every thought
And this is why I find myself awake
This is part of my pseudocanon again - that Felix has, for a long time, had trouble with insomnia, because he can't stop thinking and because of his nightmares. So here it is, the consequences of that attitude during the day; long, dark, empty nights.
The Chosen - Voltaire
First time I had sex, I was three.
First time consenting was thirteen.
Though you weren't there
you remind me of those hands.
Roses are red, violets are blue
if I'm schizophrenic, then I am too
Whatever it takes to escape
More sleepless nights, more tetchy Felix. This one right around the end of The Mirador where he's really starting to crack. Or - splinter, more like.
Magpie - Patrick Wolf
Magpie, was it you who stole the wedding ring?
Or what other thieving bird would steal such hope away?
Magpie, i am lost among the hinterland,
caught among the bracken and the fern,
and the boys who have no name.
The journey to Corambis.
Protege Moi - Placebo
(translation)
Dreams of happiness lost,
The time we have done nothing (Dreams of innocence gone)
We're left with a lifetime to cry,
And now we are all alone.
To end on a Felix note. Because I'm not going to give him a happy ending. Not even in fanmix. Of course not.
And the first of two FSTs I've been meaning to post for a while. Because I need to feel productive. At least a little.
Medium: Book
Fandom: Doctrine of Labyrinths
Subject: Felix Harrowgate
Title: Don't Hurt Me/Touch Me/Trust Me
Notes: So...this is the third of Felix fanmixes I have made. I'm sorry.
DOWNLOAD .ZIP HERE
Eight Easy Steps - Alanis Morrisette
How to stay paralyzed by fear of abandonment
How to defer to men in solve-able predicaments
How to control someone to be a carbon copy of you
How to have that not work and have them run away from you
How to keep people at arm's length and never get too close
How to mistrust the ones you supposedly love the most
How to pretend you're fine and don't need help from anyone
Felix, in summation.
The Kid - David Wilcox
Late at night in the empty big top
I'm all alone on the high wire
Ladies and gentlemen, there is no net this time
He's a real death defier
Roughly in chronological order, so this is a younger Felix, the one we never really get to see.
Good Enough - Evanescence
Under your spell again.
I can't say no to you.
Crave my heart and it's bleeding in your hand.
I can't say no to you.
Shouldn't let you torture me so sweetly.
Now I can't let go of this dream.
I can't breathe but I feel...
My list of Felix/Malkar songs is waaaay too long. But this is another one. Definitely another one. It encompasses a lot of their relationship, and the reasons I think Felix is so drawn to him.
Out of Reach - Voltaire
You're the devil's own
You'll cheat and lie
and you won't stop until
you've stole the glimmer from my eye
but not tonight
Cause I won't let you
I know you want to
but not with me
It's all so clear to see
you can try to destroy me but not tonight
'cause I won't let you through
you can fight if you like some other time
you'll find I'm out of reach
Breaking free of Malkar. Sort of. At least trying.
Blood On My Hands - The Used
It's the me that I let you know,
Cause' I'll never show,
I have my reasons.
I hate to say that I told you so,
But I told you so.
There's blood on my hands like the blood in you.
Some things can't be treated so,
Don't make me,
Don't make me be myself around you.
Felix in all his relationships, with everyone, but most especially with Mildmay. Though in my head this one is really directed at Gideon.
Naked - Assemblage 23
Awake aware alone
Lost and far from home
I walk without these walls
So there is less to fall
I am naked
I have nothing left
My bones are picked clean
And riddled with regrets
Nothing can touch me
I've nothing left to take
For I am naked
But I can never break
Felix when he's mad as a hatter. Or any time, really, but especially insane, or in a depressed mood.
Every You Every Me - Placebo
Carve your name into my arm.
Instead of stressed, I lie here charmed.
Cuz there's nothing else to do,
Every me and every you.
This one
shorelle suggested and I can't find just why it fits, but it does. So here it is. Who Will? - Patrick Wolf
Who will lay me down in green pastures
Or lead me from the burning sand
Who will be the one to lay their cards down
And always hold the winning hand
In one of his more wistful I-just-wanna-be-loved moods. Wanting someone to reach out. Kind of goes with "Who Will Love Me Now" that I used earlier for him.
Emptiness - Unto Ashes
(no lyrics here)
Ghosts - Assemblage 23
Inside a culture of spiritual violence
Demons singing like creatures of light
Smiling faces awash in hypocrisy
Vending salvation that no one invites
More mad Felix, though this one is leaning more toward the Mirador end of things, where the feeling of being trapped and alone makes him lash out. At Mildmay, usually.
Vulture - Patrick Wolf
Down in Santa Monica
suicide motel
One date with the devil
Seven days in hell
Mother don't worry,
I see the boy is doing fine
Home in a hurry
And be seen with good time
Edgy-tetchy-snarky-nasty Felix. In all his glory. The one you wish you'd never meet. Or else want to smack around. But he's there nonetheless, and hard to avoid all the time.
Awake - Assemblage 23
Every time I close my eyes
The noise inside me amplifies
I can't escape
I relive every moment of the day
Every misstep I have made
Finds a way it can invade
My every thought
And this is why I find myself awake
This is part of my pseudocanon again - that Felix has, for a long time, had trouble with insomnia, because he can't stop thinking and because of his nightmares. So here it is, the consequences of that attitude during the day; long, dark, empty nights.
The Chosen - Voltaire
First time I had sex, I was three.
First time consenting was thirteen.
Though you weren't there
you remind me of those hands.
Roses are red, violets are blue
if I'm schizophrenic, then I am too
Whatever it takes to escape
More sleepless nights, more tetchy Felix. This one right around the end of The Mirador where he's really starting to crack. Or - splinter, more like.
Magpie - Patrick Wolf
Magpie, was it you who stole the wedding ring?
Or what other thieving bird would steal such hope away?
Magpie, i am lost among the hinterland,
caught among the bracken and the fern,
and the boys who have no name.
The journey to Corambis.
Protege Moi - Placebo
(translation)
Dreams of happiness lost,
The time we have done nothing (Dreams of innocence gone)
We're left with a lifetime to cry,
And now we are all alone.
To end on a Felix note. Because I'm not going to give him a happy ending. Not even in fanmix. Of course not.