minviendha | Entries tagged with wangst

I am so bewildered at myself right now. Been in such weird mood(s) lately. Like on the one hand ridiculously cheerful and the other relentlessly emo and then full of energy and then sick of everything and just - god. I don't even know. And I'm kind of fed up with myself. I'm just so stupid sometimes. :\ I dunno. Whatever.

Weird things making me happy, weird things making me sad. I understand next to none of it. And none of it matters, so...

I'm worried about people. A lot. *sigh*

I just wish I could trade lives with people sometimes. They deserve better.

I'm just feeling limp and exhausted and wrung out already. It's not even October. This is supposed to be my February blues. Failing at school, failing at family, generally failing at life - but now I'm going all emo again. So I think I should just back away from my LJ slowly and...stop babbling. May not be here for a couple days unless something interesting actually happens.

Adios.

Current Mood: dull

Tags:

Why the hell there is school tomorrow. I think it should decide not to happen. I wish one could blackmail school - not the school board, just school. So it would get scared and hide and no one would be able to teach because they wouldn't know where the school was. God, I think I'm going insane. I don't know what is wrong with my brain this week - month...year... life...

Meh. I have a strange feeling like I should be doing something, but have no idea what it is. Finished Lucifer's Hammer today...enjoyed it, even if it was typical apocalypse fiction fare. I kind of wish they'd focused more on the immediate effects of the comet strike, but I did enjoy the portrayal of a post-apocalyptic human society. Was interesting. I still liked "By the Waters of Babylon" better, though. Read that today...good story.

Anyway. Must start Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norell - have been meaning to read it for months.

Hopefully brain will be back tomorrow. Hopefully.

Or at least by Tuesday. Biology tests not for the win. *knucklebite*

Current Mood: perplexed

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Oh boy. I feel sorry for all of my puppets right now. Especially Lucivar and Jaenelle, though.

And especially for Armand St. Just. Whoo boy. What a frikkin mess.

Well, that's what

desperatefans is for, right? Right? D:

Current Mood: guilty

Tags:

Dammit, stupid hair.

( Cut for angst. )

So, just as a side note, what is everyone else going as, if anything?

Current Mood: annoyed

Tags:

This hasn't happened in ever. Ever. I'm serious. Practically all summer I've been happy, or at least amused, and I haven't been bored long enough that I get to this place where I can practically feel myself sinking into a dark pit of woe and loneliness. But I don't want to bother people, and besides, they're busy. I'm just too...eh. I slept all morning and then went to a dog park, but I don't feel any better. I just feel cramped and lonely and crap.

I need to figure out something to do for Monday. I need to get out of the house since the sister is having a big party, and I don't really want to feel more like a friendless loser than I already do.

I finished Neverwhere, and despite the back quotes, it reminded me more of The Phantom Tollbooth than Alice in Wonderland. If a bit darker. But I loved it, and want to buy it. Not from you, Annie. I'll find it somewhere else. Once I get money. Though where I am going to find that, I have no idea.

Since the options for where to sell my old iPod are running out, and all. Geez. Today is just not really my day, is it? *sigh* I practically have my own thunderstorm hovering over my head.

Next book is a new one I picked up on impulse: The Visitor by Sheri S. Tepper. I'm hoping it's as good as it looked in Barnes and Noble.

Current Mood: gloomy
Current Location: Pit of Woe
Current Music: Wind, Maybe - The Trees

Tags:

I feel sickly. This is no fun. No fun at all.

*sigh* Dizzy and woozy and tired and achy, Lise has a virus oh my!

I dunno either.

I'ma go...place. Do...something. Or something.

Maybe a real post coming later?

Have fun in Kentucky,

sizzlinfoo and

princeralis!

Oh, and - if anyone has any music recommendations, I would like them, because I want more music than I have.

Current Mood: sick
Current Music: My Scarled Name - Xandria

Tags:

Sometimes, I think life needs to go die.

Off to reply to

desperatefans stuff. I'll...see you...later. Or something.

Went to Barnes and Noble, bought too many books. Been there, done that.

Has anyone else read Forge of God by Greg Bear? I'd recommend it, even if it is sci-fi. I enjoyed it immensely.

Beware: it's also apocalypse fiction, so if you don't like that thing, it speaks for itself.

Current Mood: exhausted
Current Music: Prelude 12/21 - AFI

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I have a shiny new layout. Be happy for me. *squee*

I wanna new character. *I will not will not will not will not* Phew. We'll see how long this lasts.

Moving on Thursday. WASLs all week. Screw this. I'm going back to

desperatefans/sleep.

Current Mood: aggravated
Current Location: The Land of...Mushrooms.
Current Music: The Dream - Leaves Eyes

Tags:

I was reading Wheel of Time badfic - yeah, I know I'm a dork, don't rub it in - and I found a few Mary Sues. And really bad stories. And something inside me just...died. So I went and wrote some Wheel of Time fluff. You can read it if you want. have a party. And review my other stuff, too, while you're there. Please?

Anyway, I got in a bitch fight with my parents and made my mom cry, which sort of sucked. So, pretty much, I had a crap weekend. And I'm sort of mad. At my life. And FFN because no one is reviewing my stuff.

Oh, and because I love you all, some goodies:
I didn't make the one furthest love. I found it at

wot_iconsAlso, I don't understand how jessy can tell me to update when she didn't even read my last post. So there.

And finally, another list:

The Top Ten Best Quotes Ever!

1. I returned from my ride to find two strange men ransacking our tent. They drew daggers, so naturally, I hit one of them with a chair and stabbed the other. -Deira Bashere, to Davram Bashere

2. I think it was the rooster. -Enaila

3. Nothing like a little dance with Trollocs to ready you for sleep. Right, Aviendha? -Mat Cauthon

4. All he wanted from life was some good wine, a game of dice, and a pretty girl or three. -Mat Cauthon

5. A thousand years of sheep! -Mat Cauthon

6. Go juggle something. -Min Farshaw, to Thom Merrilin

7. Rand is the one who's supposed to go mad, and here I am, talking to an axe! -Perrin Aybara, to his axe

8. “Your eyes are so weird and red and orange and like my fire, now go clean the fireplace." –Booshwah countryside Hell

9.There cloths were vary scandalouse, and I could tell that some of them were [proste]’toots. –Cera Dolce Angelina Angemisque

10. Obviously, Selucia miscounted with the ants. -Tuon

Current Mood: annoyed
Current Location: a home is where your heart is
Current Music: Your Eyes - Adam Pascal

Tags:

heh. well, my first update, and it happens to be about rpgs, and my 146 page story, Brother of Chaos. you're probably going "wtf?" right now. but that's okay. about my lack of capitals, i hate capitals muchly. so when i do not have to use them, i don't. but trust me, i do know how. SEE? I CAN TOTALLY USE CAPITALS. but anyway.

i'm in one of my thoughtful/depressed moods (one or the other, not sure which), and so i went to look at my old rpg posts. yes, i did do rpgs. horses, mostly - Wild Horse Island and Wanwa Vanim, among others. but anyway. so i went to look at my rpg posts, and opened all of them, and there are, like, 24 FRICKIN DOCUMENTS of rpg postings. i was kind of blown. over. and then i was reading this one i remembered for Wanwa, and i remembered how depressed i got while i was playing.

and i kind of went, DUDE, that's SAD.

i totally didn't have a life. heck, maybe i still don't. but whatever. i gots my RENT, and my photoshop, and my microsoft word. i am content. oh, and fanfiction. i love fanfiction. but that's another post entirely. so never mind.

oh, and feel free to friend me, and look at my icons. a link: http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v214/rescuingsage/ffn/?sc=1&multi=1&addtype=local&media=image

whoa, that's some link. and this compy wants me to change "muchly" to michael. hm. i hate capitals michael? what is a capitals michael? no sense this computer makes. either me no sense make, however. so farewell.

Current Mood: contemplative
Current Location: my compy!
Current Music: Anywhere - Evanescence

Tags:

What If I'm an Angel...

Without Wings to Take Me Home

This is bizarre.

Me wants to know...

DF Angst.

Halloween Woes.

ohsnap.

sigh

I feel tired.

(no subject)

Bloody Flaming, and What's That Other Swear?

rpg...ness...?

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